Toddlers and Tiaras

A.K.A. Crazy Mothers on Parade A.K.A.See you on Springer in 20 years
I am Assuming that anyone reading my blog would not also be a fan of this brand of child rearing (or abuse)... I was flipping between Chopped and this show last night and could barely watch it without wanting to hurl something, perhaps my dinner, at the T.V. It was like a train wreck - you know it's bad and painful and horrible, but you still want to see the end result.

On Toddlers and Tiara's, perfectly typical little kids are made into Star-Lettes and Boy-Toys. They primp, pose and parade around the stage, at the command of their parents. Do they want to please their parents? Of course they do? Do they do what their parent's tell them to do? Mostly, yes, but not all of the time. And when they don't, oh boy, look out!

It's natural for some little girls to play dress up, put sparkly powder on their faces and act out little dance routines. Signing them up to do it for a prize is ...well, kinda wacky. It's like signing up your 2-year old for a pie eating contest. Sure, they'll love the pie, but is it necessary to find out how much pie they can eat?

On last night's episode were 2 brothers (aged 2 and 3) and the mother who was very passive-aggressively 'encouraging' them to perform. She actually went onto stage with them and told them each thing they had to do. These poor kids didn't know the stage from their bedroom floor but Mom was there acting like this was important for their development and success as a human being. They tried so hard to please their Mommy - and that seemed to be the point; to give these parents, through their children, something they never had themselves: unconditional love and regard.

As a school counselor-in-training, I find this so disturbing. Every day, I see kids who have lost their parents, have a parent in prison, are dealing with neglect and abuse and have to experience things that would stop some adults in their tracks. I live in a typical, medium-sized community and yet, even here, there is so much pain and sadness caused by the randomness and uncertainty and unpredictability of life.

These pageant parents much believe that what their doing is okay, and maybe even great. I just think it's a shame that they don't see their children as beautiful enough, smart enough, talented enough or charming enough just as they are....without spray-on tanning, pancake makeup and revealing clothing.

anyway, those are my thoughts....

My trip to the "C" lab

Okay, I just need to get some stuff off of my chest, out of my head and away from my nose. I'm not sure how this is going to come across or sound and I may need to edit it later...but for now, here goes.

Today I accompanied 30 Monroe high students to a cadaver lab at a teaching hospital in Toledo, Ohio. As a counseling intern, I made myself available to the career counselor at the school. The group was made up of young women interested in a career in the health/medical field.
Oh man, was that a mistake or what?
To say it was horrifying doesn't quite cover it. I'm not weak-stomached and I didn't get queesy. And yet, I can't quite explain how heart-wrenching and unsettling it was to see this room full of bodies.

All of these bodies breathed in oxygen, ate, drank, pooped, loved, made love, ran, climbed, worked, sang, read, wrote, hurt, caused pain, gave birth, comforted, learned, forgot, prayed, ignored and experienced a hundred million other things.

But, in death, in physical death at least, you are nothing more than a set of organs-- sometimes prized by med students eager to disect your guts and find your orbital lobe and ductus differens. Granted, most bodies do not get 'donated to science' but instead are either buried immediately or cremated.

In no way, shape or form was I inspired by this experience. Did seeing a badly deteriorated lung want me to take up running again or did the sagging stomach make me glad I make sit-ups a regular part of my life? No, not really.

What it did say to me is that we spend so much time taking care of our bodies, our exteriors that sometimes we think that that is all that matters or all that people see. But in the end, we aren't any different than any other 'body'. We have the same parts; some bigger some smaller than others. We aren't going to be prized for having a perfect spleen at the time of death.

All of these 'bodies' left behind a memory, a story, a family, friends, traditions, beliefs and hopes. That is so much more than a 2nd year med student could ever uncover. What they do is valuable and meaningful, for sure, but it isn't what gives life meaning or value.

It felt good to get some of this off of my formaldahyde-infused clothes and into the cyber world. I hope that I have good dreams.
I hope that you do, too.