"Just a Mom"

Just tonight I was reminded that being a Mom wasn't really a job, wasn't really important, wasn't a good enough reason to complain about stress or lack of time or the inability to complete things.

Who implied these things? Why, a single, childless woman of course! I won't go into the details of the discourse: let me just say that I was disappointed at her ignorance. Sure she works FT and is in school...but when she leaves school or work, her time is HER OWN - something that I haven't experienced for pretty much 23 years now.

I don't blame my lack of time on anyone but myself. I chose to become a mother and a graduate student and a wife. I also do grief counseling, coach a soccer team and get 4 kids to 4 different places while I complete my internship at the High school. But why is it that I can empathize with her but she cannot empathize with me and instead, throws out comments like...'but you don't work"?

Anyway, I think that the world has come a long way in accepting that Parenting is Hard Work. Being a good parent takes a lot of energy. Heck, being a mediocre parent takes some energy. The only thing I don't have to show for it at the end of the week is a paycheck. I think that it is accepted that a lot of Mothers have to go to work and cannot afford to stay at home all day with their children and that those who do are extremely fortunate and blessed....but that does not mean that we are paving the road to easy street. Ever spend a day with an 18 month old and a 6 year old? It's not always pretty.

Anyway, again. I really wish that people who are not parents would stop assuming that they are working so much harder than those of us that are or that their parenting advice would be so much better than ours or that they would have perfectly behaved kids...if they actually had any.

that's all.

Early Intervention

Now that Lauren has reached the ripe old age of 17 months, she is old enough to attend "school". It's actually Early Intervention (EI for short), which if you don't know, is a chance for little tiny kids to get together with other tiny little kids and their parents and play, sing, eat snacks and chat while therapists roll you through a series of 'therapeutic' activities.

Here in Michigan we are pretty lucky - we have options. These options include taking Lauren to an EI group that is just other kids who are developmentally delayed. This runs the gamut from Down syndrome to cerebral palsy to prematurity to syndromes and disorders that are so rare that the child you are looking at may be 1 of only 250 in the United States. The advantage here is that all of the kids are behind, and therefore, somehow, equal. The parents can compare notes, cheer one another on and appreciate the uncommon joy of celebrating a child of 2 taking her first steps!

The other option is a playgroup that would be a combination of kids who are "typically" developing = no significant or global delays along side kids with diagnosed conditions, delays, syndromes etc. We would do the same things in this group as the other - so no difference there.

The appeal of this is that Lauren would be with kids who are modeling skills that we want her to learn eventually -walking, talking, grabbing toys from other children, throwing tantrums, biting, ignoring their parent, etc...

It's a tough decision for me because I really like both of the teachers and the therapists. I love the idea of Lauren being with typical peers as that is where I want her to spend most of her life. But, at 17 months, she has nothing to prove and I mostly just want her to be comfortable. Truth is, she's almost always comfortable when she is with me.

Today I took her to meet the counselors I work with at Monroe High school. One of them commented on her sweet nature. Yes, that is true. Another made a comment that irritated me for awhile. She looked at another counselor and said "she seems pretty normal to me".

Hello, she is normal!!

i'm done, i'm done, i'm done, i'm done

I can hardly believe it but after 19 months of Tuesday night classes and Wednesday-Monday homework, I am DONE!! I just finished my last paper for a long time!

What a great feeling it is to know that challenges can be met. I know that God blessed me with the patience, vision and perserverance to get through this time.

I will never forget going through the interview process for school. I sat before a tablefull of professors, deans, etc.. they asked question after question about my intentions, my faith, my ambitions, etc.

I was accepted into the graduate program in counseling.

A few months passed and I realized that my body was 'changing'. I attributed everything to early menopause. After all, both of my sisters Juliette and Caroline began menopause early so why not me? I gained weight, I overate, I was incredibly tired.

Upon the advice of one of Ada's doctors I took a pregnancy test: to rule out pregnancy.

No Way! It was positive and I was shocked!

Needless to say, when one is almost 12 weeks along in a pregnancy, one doesn't have to wait the full 3-5 minutes to see that 2nd line appear - the one that says ; YOU'RE PREGNANT.

So, I began graduate school the same day I had my first OB/GYN appt. How surreal it was.

That was 20 months ago.... Alot has happened. A real whole lot.

Lauren, my little ray of sunshine is here. That is such a long story in and of itself.

She is probably the most key ingredient in my finishing school and getting through the past few months; she proved to me that all things are worth fighting for and all things are worth waiting for.

So, tomorrow I give one last presentation. Something about counseling in the elementary school. On Monday I start my internship at Monroe High.

It is a good feeling...a very good feeling!