Having Lauren

Having Lauren is like sitting on the shore of the ocean and the waves just keep washing over you...over and over...surrounding you, drowning you, smoothing out the rough edges and sometimes scaring you. Waves of joy and peace and sorrow and hope.

Having Lauren is like taking the piece of the pie that is a little lopsided, oozing out the side and perhaps mishappen and putting it to your mouth ..to taste absolute perfection.

It's being surprised and expecting the unexpected.

Having Lauren means taking walks around the block with a girl in Red Cowboy boots who sometimes just wants to sit or crouch down and look at you for awhile.

Sometimes Having Lauren means being ready to die because you have seen the perfect picture of your child .(dressed as a Cowhand with her perfect little fingers delicately holding the lasso).

Having Lauren means walking into a new school and looking forward to the new people she will bring into your life because of her infectious smile, outgoing personality and incessant need to give everyone "the rock" and a high-5.

Having Lauren means nicknames like LoLo, Bitz, Bacon Bitz, Bisser, Wisser and Stinker.

She is all that I could want in a child and more...she stretches me in uncomfortable ways and she also gives me that deep satisfaction of knowing I'm doing the best I can.

Having Lauren means rethinking what perfection looks like and seeing other kids as missing something when they DON"T have the remarkable features created so lovingly by the extra 21st Chromosome.

Having Lauren means eating my words because I made such a stink in class one day because a textbook described kids with Ds as Stubborn..and, well, that is a word I would use to describe Lauren (sometimes).

But, it is also a word I would use to describe any 2 year old.

Having Lauren means that when therapists who have become jaded and impatient due to too many years in their chosen profession say things like "she is being Downsy", I can turn the other cheek and imagine Lauren graduating from High school, dancing at her Prom and having friends over for a sleep-over.

I can also see very clearly the fact that her entire family absolutely adores her and delights in her...not to a fault...believe me, my 7 year old tires of her just as he would anyone who takes him away from him Mom and messes with his stuff.

But they are also better because of her. Because....

Having Lauren means that each day will have an additional layer of interest and taste. Each day will bring out something different in us and each day will prove to be worth living...because of a very exceptional little girl who walks around the block in red cowboy boots.

Christmas everyday....why not?

Why can't it be Christmas everyday? Why can't our kids go to bed with so much excited giddiness that the only thing that helps them fall asleep is pure exhaustion from the wonder of it all? Why can't we decorate the house and create special memories and give gifts just because?

this past Christmas was especially special as Gabe really grabbed onto the spirit of the holidays: he loves the excitement, the surprise, the spontaneity and the hope. But, Christmas ends and what happens? Suddenly, the snow is a bummer and an obstacle, the crowded stores seem annoying and money is way too tight to find any wiggle room for that one last gift.

Why can't we enjoy the spirit of Christmas year round? Why can't we take the same delight in our children as we do when they are anticipating Santa? I don't know.

I know that my children love attention and never seem to get enough of it and that tomorrow, as in every other day, i'm going to do my best to give them what they need. It's never about the money or the expense, it's always about the love.

Don't ever forget to love your child.