Tuesday, March 3, 2009

"Just a Mom"

Just tonight I was reminded that being a Mom wasn't really a job, wasn't really important, wasn't a good enough reason to complain about stress or lack of time or the inability to complete things.

Who implied these things? Why, a single, childless woman of course! I won't go into the details of the discourse: let me just say that I was
disappointed at her ignorance. Sure she works FT and is in school...but when she leaves school or work, her time is HER OWN - something that I haven't experienced for pretty much 23 years now.

I don't blame my lack of time on anyone but myself. I chose to become a mother and a graduate student and a wife. I also do grief counseling, coach a soccer team and get 4 kids to 4 different places while I complete my internship at the High school. But why is it that I can empathize with her but she cannot empathize with me and instead, throws out comments like...'but you don't work"?

Anyway, I think that the world has come a long way in accepting that Parenting is Hard Work. Being a good parent takes a lot of energy. Heck, being a mediocre parent takes some energy. The only thing I don't have to show for it at the end of the week is a paycheck. I think that it is accepted that a lot of Mothers have to go to work and cannot afford to stay at home all day with their children and that those who do are extremely fortunate and blessed....but that does not mean that we are paving the road to easy street. Ever spend a day with an 18 month old and a 6 year old? It's not always pretty.

Anyway, again. I really wish that people who are not parents would stop assuming that they are working so much harder than those of us that are or that their parenting advice would be so much better than ours or that they would have perfectly behaved kids...if they actually had any.

that's all.


Sonia said...

Thank you for posting this! Can you also add that sometimes our husbands don't get it either? Or maybe it's just mine?

Cathy said...

You are working your you-know-what off!! I'm not sure how you do all you do!!! Your job NEVER ends.

Luckily my husband realizes what an important job I do. I'm happy he does, because being a sahm is the best job I've ever had!!

Little Miss E said...

Woo hoo! You tell it! Those who don't have kids can't even begin to understand. That would be like a parent talking about what it's like to NOT have kids!

Helena said...

Actually, I go to work to relax, lol.......

The thing about children is that it never becomes routine, like work can be, because they change and develop all the time and challenge you as a parent in new and unknown ways. I can imagine this applies even more with a special needs child.

Have a great day!

Angie said...

Isn't it funny how those who know the most about parenting don't have any kids?? LOL!!

Gabe, Curtis and Dav

Future Drummer?

Future Drummer?